Date sent:        Thu, 9 May 96 12:00 PDT
To:               offroad@ai.gtri.gatech.edu
From:             larry soo 
Subject:          re: Uses for an Entrenching Tool?  (was: Offroad Camping 		      Equipment)
Send reply to:    offroad@ai.gtri.gatech.edu

Joe Sand wrote:

>Lars wrote:
>>Well, I've tried out Mr. Courtney's (I forgot your first name
>>) technique of using a genuine US military entrenching tool as
>>a portable toilet seat.  It was actually quite comfortable but I
>>must confess that I had my pants on...it was a dry run (heh heh).

>     I didn't want to ask when this first came up, but how do you do
>     this?  I looked at my folding entreching tool and couldn't
>     imagine a single position on which I might want to sit...

[Warning: contains graphic description of poo-poo technique]

I can't do justice to the original ASCII art Mr. Courtney posted
to illustrate the proper technique (it was...breathtaking).  But
here's a text description:

1.  Unfold the E-Tool so it looks like a hoe (not a 'ho...gee...
    if THAT was possible, there'd be quite a few other uses
    for it...but I digress).  In other words, the handle is
    unfolded and the shovel blade is at a 90-deg angle to the
    handle.
2.  Dig a small hole for your deposit.  Depending on your
    intestinal history, you may want to dig a DEEP hole.
3.  Drop your pants (it's ok, I'm a doctor).
4.  Invert the E-Tool (assuming it's right way up) and place the
    E-Tool's triangular handle on the ground, to one side of the
    hole.  (Left or right, depending on your preference.)  The
    E-Tool should now be standing vertically, in an upside down
    orientation.
5.  Ensure that the pointed end of the shovel blade is pointing
    towards the hole but should NOT be directly above it.
6.  Place one (not both) butt cheek atop the shovel blade
    (now, don't you wish you wiped the dirt off it, first?).
7.  Adjust the placement of your butt, hips and legs until the
    butt cheek spread is just right.  Not too tight so as to
    create a squishy mess, not so wide as to tear something if
    you slip.
8.  Bombs away!
9.  Wipe butt with...oops...did you bring toilet paper?
10. Cover your grogans and toilet paper with dirt.
11. Inspect handle of E-Tool.  Ensure that no ka-ka matter
    was inadvertently sprayed onto the tool (the E-Tool).  If
    this occurred, sereptitiously swap your E-Tool with your
    buddy's.
12. Wash your hands.
13. At some point during the day, pull up your pants, too.


...lars

Note from the editor: research has shown that entrenching tools as used in foreign armies are also suitable for this purpose.

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